Deamons!

I can run & hide, but tire & run out of places to hide. I can stand and fight, but that tires too. So, I invite you in to be observed.

Thank You D!

Darren,

What a great class you offered to us last night. Thank you. Your words struck the very cord that I have been playing in the last two weeks.

From where does joy emerge? How do we seek it? Is seeking peace, tranquility, equanimity enough? And of course not... JOY must be sought!

And the story you told of 15 more years of suffering to grow to suffer some more to only realize that joy awaits... thank you again. It is not enough to suffer and grow for the sake of suffering more and growing more. And I know, the work need not be suffering... and even if it feels like suffering, I think it should only be the work of digging a tunnel through the mountian... making one's passage to the other side easier.

While digging, diamonds of joy emerge from time to time, and I appreciate your describing how they can be held, cherrished, & accumulated.

I had never thought of my world getting smaller when I hide. But you are right, it does. When negative feelings emerge, I thank you again for sharing that hiding from them (a defense mechanism that perhaps is effective in a short run) only makes my world smaller. Your insight... that they just find you where you hide, and in time there are fewer and fewer places to hide. The box gets smaller.

And thank you for letting me share with you how this insight of yours aligns with where I have been in the last two weeks. That I was tired of fighting my deamons and could not bear hiding in dwindling disconnected places that prevented me from being the person I want to be. The person I have the will to be. So as I come onto the mat, my deamons are invited to the practice at my side, where I can observe them rather than trying to tamp them down or hide from them. As it turns out they don't like Yoga as much as I do.

Anxiety, Stress, Pain

I have tired of fighting that fight. And I have tired of fleeing from it as well. I have stopped asking where they came from. They will reveal their source in time. And I will stop asking what they mean, as they are only reactive sensations and not something to which meaning can be ascribed.

When I feel the pangs of anxiety or stress, the ones that cause the prana to surge in my arms and legs, stomach, and head, I am not going to fight them. That just produces thoughts about future scenarioes, most of which will never exist. I know that I am not more prepared for the future by having dwelt upon it.

I am not going to withdraw and ignore these feelings, as they will only return stronger. And, besides, where would I go to hide when I ignore these feelings. That only leads to a withdrawal from life. It leads to a disconnection that holds no yoga with spirit, family, friends, self, and loved ones.

Rather, I am just going to accept these feelings as they arise and thereby render them powerless. They will simply be my companion and I will silently seek them out and observe them.

Hidden Within

How much joy goes undiscovered? What capacties do we have that could take us by surprise, if we would only let them? Deep within each of us are talents and capabilities just waiting to burst forth. We are all incredible and have talents placed within us at birth that are seeds sitting frozen in our heart, waiting only for awakening in our spring, needing only warmth and sunlight to burst forth and produce flowers and fruits.

Last week Susan Boyle had her moment. Imagine a talent like that being unrewarded for decades... until she was 48. She began to sing at 12, but the world was not ready for her until April 11, 2009, when her talent was revealed on a TV talent show (Britain's Got Talent 2009 Episode 1 - Saturday 11th April). That was her Spring. A long winter she waited for that moment to burst forth with her inner brightness.

It makes me wonder what joy is inside each of us, undiscovered.