And for this too I am thankful

This was a tough week for us with Molly on Monday seriously, painfully, and thankfully not liklely permanently, injuring both feet... and for now being unable to walk... and thus being home bound.. and offering herself to our constant care 24x7... for at least two weeks and probably closer to four. A test, an opportunity, a present? Well I guess so. Certainly a chance to remain present and to expand my capacity to offer and receive unconditional love. And so for this too I am to find how to be thankful.

Only by finding a weak link can a chain be strengthened. So too with me. If I am never asked to lift somethng heavier than I thought I could lift, how will I learn which muscles need work? Only by revealing yet another place with room for infinite growth can expansion of my capacity to love take place. Only by being asked to find light in a situation that seems so dark, will I learn which parts of my heart and mind need to open up to new possibilities... a renewed sense of God's unconditional light and love.

As in the words of Morris West (from The Clowns of God)...

I know what are you thinking.
You need a sign.
What better one could I give
than to make this little one whole and new?
I could do it; but I will not.
I am the Lord and not a conjurer.
I gave this mite a gift I denied to all of you
ETERNAL INNOCENCE
To you she looks imperfect
but to me she is flawless,
like the bud that dies unopened,
or the fledglings
that fall from the nest to be devoured by ants.
She never offended me,
as all of you have done.
She never perverted the work of My Father hands.
She is necessary to you.
She will evoke the kindness that will prompt you to
gratitude for (your) own good fortune....more.....
she will remind you every day that I am who I am,
that My ways are not yours,
and the smallest dust mite whirled in darkest
space does not fall out of my hand.
I have chosen you.
you have not chosen me.
this little one is my sign to you.
TREASURE HER.

Deamons!

I can run & hide, but tire & run out of places to hide. I can stand and fight, but that tires too. So, I invite you in to be observed.

Thank You D!

Darren,

What a great class you offered to us last night. Thank you. Your words struck the very cord that I have been playing in the last two weeks.

From where does joy emerge? How do we seek it? Is seeking peace, tranquility, equanimity enough? And of course not... JOY must be sought!

And the story you told of 15 more years of suffering to grow to suffer some more to only realize that joy awaits... thank you again. It is not enough to suffer and grow for the sake of suffering more and growing more. And I know, the work need not be suffering... and even if it feels like suffering, I think it should only be the work of digging a tunnel through the mountian... making one's passage to the other side easier.

While digging, diamonds of joy emerge from time to time, and I appreciate your describing how they can be held, cherrished, & accumulated.

I had never thought of my world getting smaller when I hide. But you are right, it does. When negative feelings emerge, I thank you again for sharing that hiding from them (a defense mechanism that perhaps is effective in a short run) only makes my world smaller. Your insight... that they just find you where you hide, and in time there are fewer and fewer places to hide. The box gets smaller.

And thank you for letting me share with you how this insight of yours aligns with where I have been in the last two weeks. That I was tired of fighting my deamons and could not bear hiding in dwindling disconnected places that prevented me from being the person I want to be. The person I have the will to be. So as I come onto the mat, my deamons are invited to the practice at my side, where I can observe them rather than trying to tamp them down or hide from them. As it turns out they don't like Yoga as much as I do.